A new entry for my online book “Outside Of Los Angeles“. Enjoy.

I stay away from crowds on holiday weekends. No good comes from a monkey like me being stuck at a destination location. I hate drunks. Got no love for football fanatics. And I sure as shit don’t want to see another human being at any beach that I am willing to drive over an hour to get to. Thinking about taking the girls up to Morro Bay for a night. Stuff the idiot dog in the car and drive 220 miles north for a change of scenery. Folks behave in a more civilized manner up there in San Luis Obispo County. There is an In-N-Out Burger about every 20 miles or so just off the 101 freeway once you hit Thousand Oaks on your way out of Los Angeles. Last one is in Goleta just north of Santa Barbara, you’re on your own for road chow once you dogleg inland and go through farm country to about Santa Maria. There’s The Madonna Inn in SLO, depending on the season you can get one hell of a strawberry cake. Head up The Grade and there’s a real nice In-N-Out in Atascadero just off the San Anselmo exit. There’s a gun shop across the street and it’s only another twenty miles to Morro Bay from there. Lakota Pete has a tattoo shop about a mile south of Morro Road, Atascadoo Tattoo. He put a couple of names on me over the years. He got a tattoo of Chief Crazy Horse in the middle of his chest when he was in the Marine Corps, he has one of Sitting Bull on his right arm. Pete deployed to Kuwait in the first Gulf War. The fucking crazy thing is that he was called up by the Governor in ’92 during the LA Riots after the Rodney King verdict. He was one of 1,100 Marines that drove right up the 5 freeway in armored vehicles from Camp Pendleton. He was on a Sav-On Pharmacy rooftop staring through a rifle scope in the City Of Compton for a few days. Lakota Pete is good muscle to have in your phone contacts. Six foot four, two hundred and fifty pounds of trained killer. Damn fine job with a tattoo machine as well. If any of my girls ever think about getting any work I will definitely drive up to see Lakota Pete. Hopefully it’s during strawberry season.

Paul Zies

dirtyandmean.com

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